Our Country

Our Country is between a rock and a hard place right now but I know we will endure, and come out on top again.
I. as about a billion other people, have a blog. It's aptly titled Dakota's Papa, if anyone is interested in looking at some photos of Kevin Tucker's wedding to Stephanie Peterson, feel free to take a peek and let me know what you think, Someone please forward this to Rhett as I seem to have lost his e-mail address in my latest organization effort, while watching football on TV. I do not recomend, this practice.

How's everyone feel about our Govt. spending Billions of dollars that we had nothing to do with. Why not give the money needed to the people in foreclosure ( approx. 10% of all home buyers, from thet media ) to cover their bad debt. That number will be far less than the amount this govt is going to spend. Of course this has nothing to do with the housing market, so what does it really have to do with???? You tell me in simple english how in 8 years we can go from then to now. Why is every bureaucrat not responsible as well as all CEOs,CFOs, on,and on adnausium. I'm beyond words as to why we are allowing a very well handled Alaskan Govenor with a Downs syndrom 5 month old, and a pregnant 17 yr old daughter to not be called to task. She is in no postion to copilot this nation than I am. How on earth can she exspouse a lifesyle that she obviously does not live. Am I the only one out there that questions these people. I don't want either McCain or Obama, but my vote is lost if I vote for 3rd party as I have for years ( the exceptions There being I did vote for Carter's 2nd term. I Did vote for Bush Sr. 2nd term ) I'm sick or where our govt has gone Senators caight in public bathrooms soliciting, and he can't say oops ya got me.

Thank God I have a very close family or I might just run and jump some where. I can't believe 700 BILLION DOLLARS with out a vote Our Forefathers and FATHERS And MOTHERS are rolling over in their graves

The New Driveway, Porch, and Walkway

Well the start of our bib project will begin on Thursday Oct. 2, 2008. What we have been told is the demo and prep crew will show up about 7 am and will be done with that end by of Thurs. Friday the pavers will be delivered along with the install crew, again around 7 am. No sleeping in around Here. I took a few shots of the house and driveway before Mom and I used hoses to deliniate the new boundries. We are very excited about the change, and have long thought about it, actually we had this company out right after we moved in. At that time the price was in our mind astrinomical and dropped it right away. Well I received an ad for some % off and no finance charge or payments until Sept 2009. We had the salesman out and he made the pitch. We were given the bottom line price, and we said no way, so he called some one and came back with another number, still out of our ballpark. He then used "The We have a contest going on for this week" and added What price would it take to have you sign tonight. My opportunity arrived I wrote a number far below his last counter. Once again he had to make a call outside and to our surprise he said yes as did we. When they were out in 2000 the price for the same job was 22K , this time less than a third of that. It's still a big number, hell anything over $100.00 to me is big money. So we are very anxious and I will move the plants off the porch tomorrow.

Dakota's 5th Full Night Sleep Over with Gaugee and Papa

It's hard for me to put into words how quickly this little girl is growing up. I can recall the first times we were going to have her for the night. All seemed well on those nights up until the bedtime hour and then it was another story, the bathroom, a sip of milk, and on until she would get sad and want her Mommy. We would then call Kris and Randy with the news. One or the other would don the slippers and trek over to pick her up.

On 6/27 of this year we had our first successful overnighter. It was wonderful we watched a movie, Heidi (with Shirley Temple) that was really my 1st time seeing it also. It was really more of an adult story, but Dakota loved it. She got sleepy before the end so we paused the VCR (?) and watch the end in the am. Joyce (Gaugee for those in the know) slept with her downstairs. She was up bright and early, well before me but I did get the end of the movie as they had breakfast. I think blueberry pancakes and eggs with bacon, and milk.

It was the third of July for the second overnighter that one did not go near as well, as a matter of fact it was real hard. Our little Angel went from wanting to go home to exhaustion , and back again several times before she crashed. I play with her, but she tires of me pretty quick. not really Gaugee is more fun.

7/20/2008 saw Dakota with Papa and Gaugee we thought we were well prepaired. We had a couple different movies and planned a walk to the park after dinner. A little exercise aids the sleep me thinks. Unfortunately the Movie. she picked "The Jungle Book" was a prtty scary movie if you want know so by the time we got another movie going we had missed the window of opportunity for sleep to fall peacefully. Dakota had been forwarned that there would be no calling home for rescue ( of course we would if.......) It took a long time but Joyce peservered and Dakota was fine in the am not recalling any of the previous nights antics. Joyce was pooped.

August 29th, the day after our 37th Anniversay, We had Dakota and guess what. It was a pretty great evening and not much of a fight in her when bedtime rolled around. I think the girls had the Habit for dinner with fries and a shake and then watched Riverdanc for the Millionth time( I hope that tape breaks real soon, so I don't have to be the cause of it's failure) After all this time she feels like this is her home, which she should, her room upstairs has never been slept in by her. I'm sure she will eventually, maybe when she is six or so. She knows all that stuff up there is hers and she rules her realm with a stearn but benevolent hand. All her babies are well taken care of, and upon arrival here she has to check on all her stuff. I love it.

Nine twenty-six was the last overnighter and it was perfect finally We had dinner that Kristen had prepared Mac and Cheese plus a steak Gaugge and Dakota wanted with a small salad. It smelled great and then we walked to the mailbox doing our usual things. Next was a movie. The thriller Clock Work Orange HaHa, It was Robin Hood the disney animated edition and wasn't half bad. Dakota was really enjoying it, with a Mickey Mouse Lollypop. she had to brush her teeth and the movie came to a great place to pause We hit the pause and by the time she finished that task she was ready for bed, and that was at a little after nine pm . We all had our breakfast in the morning and Mom and Dad showed up a little before noon to take their jeel up to visit Randy's Grandparents in Ojai .

Brooks Institute of Photography Weekend Workshop

What a wonderful experience I had this past weekend. I enrolled some months back for a workshop presented by The Brooks Institute in Monticeto and put on by Joyce Wilson, a world renowned Portrait Photographer. The weekend kinda of snuck (I know that isn't a word, but I like it anyway) up on me with the wedding the prior weekend and that major road trip.
Saturday I was off at a little after 8am with my laptop and my almost new hot top of the line Sony Cyber Shot Digital camera. Addmittedly I was a bit nervous and got even more so as I entered the Campus. An old Mansion perched in the hills above the sea. The House(?) is enormous and very ornate hard to imagine living there, but I guess I could get used to it. The parking lot had a handfull of vehicles and I could see a sign on one of the lower doors. The sign directed me upstairs to room M5 , there I found a group of about 13 other students, as I was one of the last to arrive I took one of the remaing seats in the rear of the room.
Joyce Wilson introduced herself and then asked for quick bio's from everyone. Two of the men were here from Norway,and both professionals in their country. Two from Japan also professionals in the "bis" . There was a Cardioligist from New York. An Advertisment female excutive. Several more from other States , two retired ladies and I. When Joyce got to me she explained that I was unable to talk, I had fowarned the proctor when I enrolled in the workshop.
Joyce lectured first about goals and the opportunities (or lack of due to the digital camera and the internet) we set in our lives both professionaly and spiritually. We then went thru different types of natural light. Next came a mother and 5 month old boy that modeled for Joyce to demonstrate her Techniques in portraiture, very interesting and fun. Back to the room for a review of the shots she had just taken, along with a critique of herself ,she is very down to earth, approachable, a mix between Will Rogers and Wily Post, and a joy to listen to stories It was almost time for lunch when she announced that we would be paired up with our models after lunch. That we were NOT to do any nudes as these girls all were 16 except for one. Kirsten had come a bit early and did some poses for Joyce.
I nad my lunch(Tube) in the car and afterwards one of the Norwigean men came out to smoke I approached him and attempted to introduce myself again He was very nice and we chatted for a moment, and then it was time to return to the classroom.
We broke into groups of 2 and 3 I was paired with a retired woman Arleen. This is when I realized I was totally out gunned in the equipment department. my hot new little camera was exactly that. Almost all of these people had at least 2 DSLR cameras 1 had 4 different cameras, no one was shooting film. There were Cannons, Nikons, Leica's, Hasselblad, all DSLR;s with multiple lenses. The Hasselblad I recall seeing at Sammys Cameras web site at around 22K without a lens. Oh well I'm here and I'm proud hear me roar. Actually my spiel was that I'm still undecided as to what 5K camera I was going to purchase.
The models were assigned to each group and off we went. The model's were far more Prepared than my partner or I Kirsten clothes, shoes, jewelry, shawls, hats, etc. At first Arleen and I stumbled around , but in a short time we were directing the action. Numerous sites for posing a beautiful raven haired girl. A sunlite hallway, the womens mirrored bathroom, outside all over the grounds. We were told to regroup around 2:30pm which we did and switched groups and models. So off to explore new ideas with a very sweet 16 year old Emily, who in my opinion, you could not take a bad picture of. Kirsten was 21 a student at Brooks and a model. Emily had never done any modeling and now that we all had one model behind us we led her thru various poses and then it was time for a family shoot Demonstration and the End of the day one. Joyce told us to go home read her hand outs and put 6 or 7 of our best shots on a flasah drive .
Saturday nite I found my 6 favorite shots and entered hem into my flash drive. Sunday we turned our flash drives and then had a demonstration of studio lighting set ups and various poses useing us as models I hope we get those they were fun. Joyce's T.A. told me my flash drive only had one picture so he put the rest on for me. Next was lunch and back to the classroom where we reviewed our work. I was shocked when Joyce critiqued my submissions and she was very surprised with my results from a little camera, I was up there with the big boys. I think they had more consistent results than I did
Not much more to say other than I will go back as soon as possible for another workshop. I doubt that I will buy a slick new DSLR for the moment I am happy with my hot almost new Sony Cybershot .

Kevin Tuckers Wedding

My nephew Kevin, a recent graduate of Humbolt State, is getting married to his High School Sweetheart. Their vows were exchanged at a wonderful old Inn in Foresthill, Ca. The Monte Verde Inn owned by a young couple that do the whole shabang. An almost one stop Wedding Shop, but they do just about everything; they provide the food (made on site) ; the Dj; the Bar service; the flowers (your colors ); The sign in book etc. All you need is a Minister, Rabbi, Priest, Shaman,etc. and the couple.
We started the trip with Dakota, Joyce, and I in the backseat of the Infiniti, while Kristen drove and Derek had the front passenger seat. It was 5:30 am so we all pretty much slept, while Kristen and Derek had the watch. I slept until our first stop about half way there. We bought gas and had a McDonalds breakfast. Dakota enjoyed that, and all the new sights and people passing by, espically the little children. I always forget how very boring the 5 freeway is, I guess its like pain you don't remember. Gaugee ( Dakota's word for my wife, her Grandmother) kept our little granddaughter busy for the rest of the trip; playing games; reading books. Dakota was a real trooper, not complaining about the long trip.
We arrive and check in to our hotel, the Lake Natoma Inn, nice but not fancy, and we found out that a major bicycle Race was happening the Sunday of the wedding. The small town of Folsom was overwhelmed with the rush of riders and spectators, and I think they all enjoyed the chaos. I know we did.
From the Inn to Joyces Brothers Condo was a short hop where we met all the wedding party somewhat hund over from the previous night. We chatted and got caught up on the plans, including the fact that my wife thought the wedding was at 6:30 pm while in reality at was at 3:30 pm. Wow would that have been a faus=pas. We returnes to our digs and rested before heading out to dinner.
We all walked up the hill to the old town center of Folsom finding a second floor balcony Bistro with outside dining. The ambiance was great although we scared away a few romantic couples, Dakota is not about to let you be unaware of her pressence, and she was getting tired. It was a long day. The meal was so so at best. Ralph and Trudi and all the family dropped by our table for a few moments, but they too were tired. We barely made it home Dakota was asleep on Gaugee;s back.

The Second UCLA Suegery

I think it was around 2:30 in the morning when we set out for UCLA, We had the whole Family, Derek, Tisha, Kristen, Dakota, Sandi, and Kelli . I vividly recall having my last cigarette and my son hurrying me. I don't regret that, and as they tell me all went very well during the surgery. So well that I did not need any time in the ICU, off to the main head and neck ward. I do not remember that.

I do remember waking up in the ICU after, I am told, trying once again to leave the hospital, as I was not being, in my mind, cared for properly. As cohearance came back into my world I was told that I had almost coded and they moved me to the Icu. Really not a place to sleep and recover, they wake you throughout the night food, blood, temperature,blood pressure, Medicationand on and on. I think I was there for 4 days and then back to the main floor. I had a room with 3 other people. Only 2 when I first arrived. Then you have Dr.s and Students coming in the am and pm doing there roundsIN the ICU they have some very Buff Men that are the roving lift team Who change a patients position if that can't do it for themseves. Very Very nice young men doing volunteer work.

Now that is why I was watching the Super Bowl at UCLA. That was a great game, and I think I slept well that night. I knew I could get back to that question. They released me on election day in the mid morning. They wheel you down to your vehicle and it was quite chilly that morning. A kind ambulance attendant brought me a blanket, Derek pulled up and with a little help I got into the car. The trip home was a maze of thoughts. I can't talk and I'm very weak and its Election Tuesday. No one except myself was up to stop first at the polling place, so we went home. My wifes brother and his wife were there and they were a great help in those very difficult first Days home> I remember I was addament about voting in the primary and finally Joyce took me to the polls. We voted and went back home. That tired me out completely. but felt very good about voting.

February flew by with more appointments than I care to remember, but I was getting stronger and the news so far was good. I can not talk very well, certainly not with my normal vocabulary, I eat through a tube and am never hungry, but I greatly miss the taste of everything I love to eat. By the start of May I was out in the garden with shirt off doing chore and feeling pretty good. Mid-M ay my wife became concerned about a wound that was not healing from the surgery, so much s that she forced me to go to an Urgent Care Center. The place on a friday evening was empty. The doctor took a look and said He thought I had some kind of infection nd That I should go immediately to the ER. Well that was not going to happen He gave us a prescription for an antibiotic.and we went HOME.

The following Saturday am my wonderful wife drug me to the ER at Community Memorial Hospital. Very few people there so we were seen very quickly. The Dr. gave me the once over and was about to release me when Joyce said the urgent care Dr had reccomended I have a Pet Scan. With that the Dr. set me up for a scan, an hour or so later the deed was done when the Dr. returned he shot me with a powerful antibiotic that hurt , they also put a stint in so the antibiotic could be administered again the following day, and oh by the way, there is a tumor there.

Flattened would be a word well describing the emotions that went through my wife and I. We were both wide eyed and unbelieving of what we were being told so off the cuff. We returned the next day to a very long wait in the ER to get my second of two Antibiotic injections. We had not talked at any great length well we absorbed this new information. I know when my name was called I acted out, saying My god there is someone back there. There were cheers around from the waiting patients. I should never have done that. I think I was just venting. We were attened to and sent home.

We already had an appointment to see my primary Surgeon, Dr. Blackwell, on the upcoming Tuesday . UCLA was calling again, I hate that trip, I've done it so very many times, and this trip was not any better. Into Bldg 200 across the street from the Main UCLA Hospital, and up to the 5th floor we went. Ann, the grouchy ,but very sweet and caring, nurse led us to Examination room and within a short time Dr Blackwell entered with an intern in tow. We handed over a copy of the scan which he studied for a moment, then doned his reflective head piece and Announced "Open please " . In a short time he called in the other surgeon that did my operation, back in January, he too took a look see. They both agreed that Surgery was NOT an option as the tumor was too close to my carotid artery and all that they had read about or done ended in a stroke or death. Options became Radiation (Which had been ruled out after the January operation due to the amount of Rads I already was Loaded with) and Chemo therapy. The drive home was not Pleasant.

We called our Family Dr. and he sent us back to the Radiologist and a Chemo Dr. Appointments were set up first with the Radiologist. Dr. Rodnick, with Cabrillo Radiation and Then with Dr. Zang and Ma Chemo Dr's. Almost the whole family fell out for the meeting with Dr. Rodnick, about a week later. With great trepadation we entered his exam room . What flowed from Dr. Rodnicks mouth to our ears was pure sweet music. He and Dr. Fogel had put togeather a plan, an aggresive attack on the growing canerous tumor that combined 2-a-day radiation treatments and once a week chemo treatment. They said they were going to beat me to a pulp, and see what came out. We next went to see the Chemo Dr. he laid out the different foms and types of therapy available andd we made our pick Erbo something, to start the following week. Radiation was to start after the 1st week of Chemo.

Well in the mean time I was to get blood Drawn ,another Pet Scan, and be fitted for a radiation mask . In looking back on that time I'm surprised that I was able to do it. I would not have been able without the love and support of Family and friends. Literally in some respects the held me up. I knew I was not ready to succum to cancer, and so the fight was on. The first week of Chemo, a Thursday, I with my wife entered the treatment room, about 7 Lazy-Boy Recliners, We had already met the charge nurse, as she had worked with my wife,she sat me in a recliner and inserted a needle into my hand. I was stuck there for the next 4 + hours. Fortunately I had my wifes laptop and a stack of movies. The time went by and my wife showed up to pick me up. I can't say I felt bad that first evening or even the next day . I know my energy level was down but that was true before the start of the chemo. I was to start Radiation the following tuesday.

Tuesday came and I recalled the first time expierence with radiation some 8 + years ago. This time I was led to a different room. My head postioned with the use of the mask in fixed posture that was not very comfortable. The treatment took much longer than I remembered, and the machine changed positions several times, rotating around me that too was new. At 9:30 am is home, but had to return there at 3:00 pm for the second treatment. I know that for the first 3-4 weeks the first time I felt fine after that I was depressed and drained of energy. However this time the energy loss came sooner as well as the depression along with, an extremely sore and ulcerated mouth.

UCLA continued for a few Paragraphs

Well where were we, Oh yes, 8 miraculous years and This past December I was coming home from work and noticed a very odd sensation under my tongue. The best I can describe it; is a small piece of a nut caught under there. Well I let it go fro several days as my eating had many problems that I just endured and normally they wentt away. This did not go away, as a matter of fact it got worse. Off to the Dentist, our family for 20+ years looked and said He didn't, but nothing was stuck. That was both good and bad. The pain is still there but He saw nothing. Next we went to our family Doctor with exactly the same results. Fortunately we had a follow-up appointment with the original surgeon at UCLA the following week, My annual visit. I remember It very well, my daughter, and Grand Daughter said they would go with me.
Tuesday came quickly and off we went, the three troopers headed to UCLA the traffic , if you can believe it, was light, We were there a bit early. Supriseingly we went in almost immediately, the normal nurse, ( Grouchy to some but really a heart of gold, and from the Old Sod ) led us to an examination room where the three of us settled in. Dakota, my Grand daughter, was taken with all the gadgets and dodads around the room. Shortly the Dr came in and I explained my problem. Taking his scope he took a peek done my throat and in no less than two seconds He said a new tumor was there. Not related to previous tumor but a new one. He called in the other surgeon who looked and concured. My Dakota, was agast at the Dr putting the scope down my throat and said so right out loud. Then the Dr. Numbed me up to take a sample. Very very painful, shots in the tongue are right up there with the femoral artery needle they give you to check circulation with a dye. Tongue numbed He clipped a few specimens, and said we should set up a surgery date right then.

There we sat waiting our turn to speak with the scheduler and the buildings fire alarm goes off. We are sitting there sort of in that limbo zone of do we run or walk to the exits, when we realized no one, except patients, was reacting to the alarm!!!!! The alarm went on for maybe five to ten minutes before the staff said yes we must evacuate. Off we went to the stairwells where we found a gaggle other Dr's, Patients, etc, not rushing down the stairs. They are hanging out in the stairwell where the scuttlebutt is this a reular occurance. It was eaxactly that 30 miniutes later we were back in with the scheduler and Jan. 23 was the date. On the way home in kind of a myopic haze I told my daughter that I have no regrets, and that I realize my actions caused this problem, so I have to own it. Which I do.

I'm not sure Why I'm Doing This

My sweet daughter has started a blog chronicling her adventure's into being a young Mom, and suggested that I should create a Blog of my own. Now, I've pondered that idea for several weeks and now here I am. Where I go from here I guess depends on my mood and the events of the day.

I find it very interesting that all of a sudden things are happening in Iraq, where for years now we have heard very little of happy advances there. Anbar province being turned over to Iraq control, when not so long ago all we heard were the numbers of dead there. Do not misunderstand me, I'm very pleased with this new announcement. I'm just a political cynic. Also interesting that the Russia, Georgia conflict falling off the paper. The Olympics also have past, without much talk about human-rights and such drivel. Election years are always filled with stunning news items that are not worthy of even being called news.How important to being a good honest politican is having a virginal daughter?? I don't know seems to happen here pretty regularly across the great spectrum of our society.

Well enough of politics; How-a-Bout those Niners Where are we gonna end up this year?? The NFL starts again in a few days. I know when Feb. came last year it seemed like it would be forever until Aug/Sept. would be here. I watched the Super Bowl with my Son in my room at UCLA. I think it was one of the best games I've ever seen. Now I was totally sober and I can't say that for every Super Bowl ,or game I've ever seen. Having my Son watch with me was very odd ( Great but Odd) He is not a big fan of televised sports and I'm proud of him for that He did not get that from me maybe His Mom.

Now why was I in UCLA at Super Bowl time? Well I had, in early January, been diagonosed with a new tumor in my throat. Back in August of 2000 I had the same diagnosis and underwent 9+ hours of surgery frought with much angst for my family and friends. The outcome from that operation for years was nothing short of miraculous in my opinion. After being told that the operation could leave me unable to speak, or to eat without a tube in my stomache. I may have a trech to breath. With those gloomy thoughts off to surgery I was wheeled. I did not drink or eat after midnight that Aug.8th. I did drink and smoke before midnight , and smoked before going into the hospital. I came through in great shape. I had a few dramatic dreams while in the ICU, but after that all things were good. 9 days later I went home and for the last 8 years I continued to work and eat and live life.